Helicopter
parenting’ which describes an over controlling behaviour of parents which can
negatively affect children’s ability to manage their emotions and deal with the
challenging demands of growing up, a study has found. Children need space to
learn and grow on their own, without parents hovering over them, researchers
said in a study published in the journal Developmental Psychology.
“Our
research showed that children with helicopter parents may be less able to deal
with the challenging demands of growing up,” said Nicole B Perry from the
University of Minnesota in the US. Children rely on
caregivers for guidance. They need parents who are sensitive to their needs,
recognize when they are capable of managing a situation and will guide them
when emotional situations become too challenging.
Managing emotions
and behaviour are fundamental skills that all children need to learn and over
controlling parenting can limits those opportunities, said Perry. The researchers
followed 422 children over the course of eight years as part of a study of
social and emotional development.
Forceful parenting or
helicopter parenting can lead to trauma related to the mind, behaviour,
emotions, thinking, mindset, perception and it will lead to various
complexities related to brain and body. Helicopter parenting is also
responsible for loneliness, frustration, apathy, defiance, rough behaviour,
anxiety and depression and so on among children. In the long run this type of
parenting can be dangerous for child and his future.
Helicopter parenting
is a part of nurturing child and no parent is intending to hurt his child
through his nurturing. But in the course of parenting, parents turned into
masters and treat their child as a slave. The relationship of child and parent
turns into bitter form and guidance nature changes into controlling panel. No
child is happy to be controlled as a gadget but every child is ready to take
guidance from their parents.
Data was collected
from observations of parent-child interactions, teacher-reported responses and
self-reports from the 10-year-olds. During the observations, the research team
asked the parents and children to play as they would at home. “Helicopter
parenting behaviour we saw included parents constantly guiding their child by
telling him or her what to play with, how to play with a toy, how to clean up
after playtime and being too strict or demanding,” said Perry.
“The kids reacted in
a variety of ways. Some became defiant, others were apathetic and some showed
frustration,” she said.
Parents can help their children learn to control their emotions and behaviour by talking with them about how to understand their feelings and by explaining what behaviours may result from feeling certain emotions, as well as the consequences of different responses. Then parents can help their children identify positive coping strategies, like deep breathing, listening to music, colouring or retreating to a quiet space.
Every child deserves
a free space in his life and it must be given to him by his parents but parents
can be his guide in his life as his friend but not as a master. Parenting is a
tough duty to perform and this task needs toughness with sweetness. Only tough
and hard attitude will make child into bitter and colourless. It is rightly
said that “as you sown so shall you reap.”
Source:
The Times of India
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