VICTIM MENTALITY

 

Many of us complain for a minute when things don't go our way. We need a little grief time, a little time to gather ourselves back together again, renegotiate our hopes and dreams more in alignment with reality, and then we're back in the normal daily life again. The time it takes for us to do that varies with each individual.  Many people feel a little embarrassed when they complain this way because, well, it feels as if one is full of self-pity. And, you know, maybe for a minute we are. 
That temporary state of self-pity, however, is a drop in the bucket compared to what happens when we are dealing with someone with a full-blown Victim identity.

Meaning

Victim mentality is a psychological term that refers to a type of dysfunctional mindset of a person who seeks to feel persecuted in order to gain attention or avoid self-responsibility. People who struggle with the victim mentality are convinced that life is not only beyond their control, but is out to deliberately hurt them. This belief results in constant blame, finger-pointing, and pity parties that are fuelled by pessimism, fear, and anger. 

Simply put, having a victim mentality means that you blame other people and circumstances for the unhappiness you feel. 

The belief systems of the person with a Victim identity fall along these lines: 

• Life is really, really hard.                                                                                                                                         
• Don't get up, you'll just get kicked back down again.                                                                                    
• Beware, always beware of trickery; it's around every corner.                                                                            
• You can't trust anyone. 
• I can't. 
• You just don't understand how hard it is for me. 
• Everyone is always picking on me. 
• "They" are always bigger, more successful and smarter than me.

  How Self-Victimization Develops

  No one is born with a victim mentality, just as no one is born clinically depressed or anxious. Instead, the victim mentality is an acquired personality trait, meaning that it is the result of early life conditioning and coping mechanisms. 
  Most victims were victimized in some way as children, whether that was through physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse or psychological abuse. Self-victimization can also develop through the codependent relationships we had with our parents, or simply by observing and adopting the unhealthy victim mentality exhibited by one or more of our family members. 
  However, although what happens to us as children is completely beyond our control, it is our responsibility as adults to step into our power and reclaim responsibility for our happiness. 
  The psychological profile of victim identity includes a universal sense of helplessness, passivity, loss of control, pessimism, negative thinking, strong feelings of guilt, shame, self-blame and depression. This way of thinking can lead to hopelessness and despair.

  How to cope with victim mentality

  1.Start replacing “you” with “I” 

  2.See yourself as a survivor 
  3.Be kind and compassionate towards yourself 
  4.Explore your mistaken beliefs 
  5.Ask “What thought is creating this suffering?” 
  6.Practice being thankful 
  7.Affirm self-responsibility 
  8.Perform an act of kindness for another  
  
  
    
  SOURCES
  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victim_mentality https://lonerwolf.com/victim-mentality/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/traversing-the-inner-terrain/201102/the-victim-identity